Every day I declare war against myself
with a smile on my face for the world to see
I wake up wishing for death
but continuing to live
I look in the mirror and hate what i see
instead i go out and do what i need
I tell myself again and again that i deserve to die
at the same time i refuse to go through with it
I am lost and alone
while i am calm, quiet, and collected
People are shocked
when i say i am stressed
because it is not part of who i am
I am stable and dependable
I am not allowed to break down
I do not allow that to be seen
No one knows just how wrong they are
yet i do not say
It would be wrong
no one would believe
My battle plays out in ways that go unnoticed
in ways that dont matter
as long as no one knows
as long as i still smile
my battleground is mine
quietly and slowly
i am allowed to kill myself
as long as no one sees
