Excuses

 

I TRY TO FIND EXCUSES TO AVOID THE PAIN
THE HURT OF ALL THE YEARS PAST
OF ALL THE YEARS TO COME
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT
I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY IM HERE
EVERYONE HAS A PURPOSE
BUT SOMETIMES THAT PURPOSE GETS BURIED
ALONG WITH ALL THE THINGS I LOVED

 

EVERYDAY I HIDE WHAT GOES ON IN MY HEAD
SOMETIMES I CAN TALK BUT MOSTLY I HIDE FROM IT
ITS EASIER TO PRETEND IT DOESN’T MATTER
THAT I CAN BE A NORMAL GIRL
BUT I CAN SEE THE SCARS THAT COVER MY LEGS AND ARMS
THAT I PUT THERE IN MY ANGER

I STILL WONDER WHY I STARTED CUTTING MYSELF
MAYBE TO RELEASE MY PAIN
THE THINGS I KEEP HIDDEN FROM ALMOST EVERYONE
I STILL HAVENT LEARNED TO EXPRESS ALL OF MY FEELINGS
BUT IM BETTER THAN I WAS BEFORE
I CAN TALK WITHOUT THE GUILT MOST OF THE TIME
I CAN SAY WHAT IM THINKING WITH FEAR OF BEING HIT
I CAN SPEAK MY MIND WITHOUT HAVING TO DEFEND MYSELF

 

SOMEDAYS DAYS I WONDER HOW I MANAGE TO LIVE MY LIFE……