Life or Death

Life or Death

my eyes lose focus
as i think back and wonder why
my body drifts away
as i wait for the plunge that will end it all
i wait
silent
i shed no tears because there are none left
i listen and wait
as the knife is pointed at me
words are whispered
but i dont hear them
I wonder if i am ready to die
I wonder about the life i never had
i grieve for the love i never got
and still i wait
for her to make the decision
i wonder if it will hurt
or if i will finally be at peace

Life or Death

Life or Death

my eyes lose focus
as i think back and wonder why
my body drifts away
as i wait for the plunge that will end it all
i wait
silent
i shed no tears because there are none left
i listen and wait
as the knife is pointed at me
words are whispered
but i dont hear them
I wonder if i am ready to die
I wonder about the life i never had
i grieve for the love i never got
and still i wait
for her to make the decision
i wonder if it will hurt
or if i will finally be at peace

my thoughts are jumbled
my thoughts are sad
i wait for answers
i want for direction
and nothing is there
i am left alone
waiting and watching
still waiting for help
still waiting for attention
wanting love and acceptance
and still
all that is available
is shame and anger
the words that hurt me
the words keep me trapped
i am nothing
i am everything
the broken parts
no longer fit together
the pieces are no longer together
the hurts run to deep
the pain can not be forgotten
did i forget ?
can i remember?
i wait for the answers
i wait for direction
but there is no one there
there is nothing left for me