Pain

i can feel the pain in my arm

starting to form

and yet i do nothing

i deserve this

its my fault

i make this pain

i cant take it away

suffering is easy

it just reminds me that im still alive

i know my arms looks horrible

and i could care less

cuts on top of cuts

scabs broken open only to bleed again

yet i tell no one of my pain

keeping it to myself so i will be safe

no one can know

my arm grows stiff i know there is blood

and i still want more

nothing can save me

i cant save myself

Tears

i cry for you because i couldnt protect you

i cry for me because i dont know how to save myself

how can you say you understand

when you watch me to see what i do

you yell and scream but it doesnt matter

my tears you want but i have to stop them

cant let them free

i agree to your words to protect myself from pain

you still manage to make me hurt make me cry

i try my hardest but one tear is all thats needed

i turn away but you still know

i wipe my eyes to dry my fears

pretend nothings wrong the wind makes me cry

its over before it began

next time ill be stronger

i wont let you see that you can hurt me

i wont ever hurt you

Dreams

im gonna be a astronaunt

dont take my dreams from me

maybe ill be the president

just be happy for me

ill go to school

and be a good girl

but please just let me dream.

someday ill be a doctor

and help all the sick kids

maybe ill go to paris

and try all the food

dont tell me i cant do it

because i know i can.

no one knows all

my dreams but me

just be happy with what you see

i cant have your dreams

thats not me.

dont make me cry

and tell me ill fail

dont make me feel bad

for being who i am

i cant be you

i can only be me.

when i tell you my dreams

be happy i still can

be happy for me

and tell me i can.

Finding Home

Finding Home

Once a long time ago

a small girl went to hide

safely away in the corners of her mind

away from all the pain

away from all the hurt

Only one day she forgot her way home

suddenly afraid of the dark corners of her mind

she ran losing herself quickly throughout the maze

what dangers lay hidden quietly waiting

untouched, unhindered

Voices surrounded her, was everyone here

had someone found her, she shouldn't have hid

closing her eyes, she slowly turned around

a small smiling face, standing slightly behind her

slowly without talking she held out her hands

and together they turned towards an open door

Stepping into the room

there were so many other people

all different ages and even guys too

wondering where they had come from

not realizing they were all a part of her

they were all very friendly and all very different

Faintly a voice could be heard

getting louder and closer, calling her

afraid, but looking back out the door

she turned to go, not wanting her new friends to know

as she left, the voices filled her head again

reassuring they would be here when needed

always and forever

calmly she left her new friends

heading towards her home, her real home

all the while knowing that safely hidden

in the farthest corners of her mind

her real family patiently waited

for her return

Broken Mirror

only one mirror stood proudly alone

until the day it fell into a million tiny pieces

no one came by and pushed it to the ground

no one stepped on it or throw things at it

it was pretty simple actually

just a tiny little nudge caused such a small crack

right in the middle of the beautiful mirror

one small little crack, no one really noticed it

no one bothered to fix it, or even care

everyday the crack grew just little more

still no one helped it, no one stopped it

the first crack, expanded to two, then four, then more

to late now, the mirror is worthless

no one will want it, no one will fix it

all the repairs a waste of time, who will bother

only one thing left to do, quite easily too

they throw the mirror away, into the trash like worthless junk

it lost its beauty, its love,  its glow

the little something that set it apart is gone now

maybe turn this way, can it be saved

or have you given up hope so swiftly, will you try

its gone now, that beautiful mirror

reduced to an even smaller pile

of crushed glass.........  

Dark Places

how did i get here, how to get out

whats the pattern, how to learn the tricks

will i make it out in time, can i save myself

the memories flow past, wait i dont remember that

why am i watching this, why can i see it

thats a happy memory, but all the bad ones too

i want to get out, but its holding me trapped

i dont want to see, what do you want from me

i didnt mean to do all that, i was a bad girl

let me out, i dont want to stay anymore

stop fighting everything, you will learn

forgive and forget right and wrong

tell me its not real, tell me it didnt happen

tell me i can just go away and forget everything

tell me i am not trapped here, show me how to get out

how long have i been here, it hurts now, i cant see

images flow through my head, the tears, the shame

what do you want me to say, its my fault, its my guilt

 i know what you want but i cant do that

you fill my head but its to late now, i found my way out

i won this round, but its not over is it, you will come after me again

dont make me go away, dont show everything

i want to forget, i want to be normal

but it isnt that easy is it, i will never get away

the dark place calls me, you make sure of that

the never ending circle, the torment the pain

you do it to teach a lesson, that you will make me learn

in the end you will win, and you know it too

and the fights and finding ways out, its just a game

one that will go on forever and ever until someone dies.....

Two Sides

tell your story

no one will listen

 

sing your song

who will hear

 

draw your picture

everyone will laugh

 

be a little different

who will notice

 

stand up for yourself

someone will push me back down

 

help someone else

no one will care

 

demand your rights

i dont have any

 

learn to live

i dont know how